Murder, She Wrote

If you're not familiar with the television series Murder, She Wrote (1984-1996), let me explain; Angela Lansbury played Jessica Fletcher, retired english teacher turned successful mystery writer. Wherever she went someone would inevitably become a victim of murder most foul. Death would follow her like a poorly maintained carnival ride. Ms. Fletcher would then condense fact from the vapor of minute detail (The concierge walks the dogs at 8!) and without fail, solve the homicide and finger the unapologetic perpetrator. Everyone would be very impressed this mild-mannered senior citizen had become the instrument of swift justice. Whenever I watched this show two thoughts spring to mind;

1, If people were slaughtered wherever I roamed (264 episodes= 264 stiffs), I too would become an incredible homicide detective, and

2, You should never, ever invite Angela Lansbury to anything.