Saturday, March 27, 2010

Astronauts and Incomplete Analogies

James Lovell, astronaut extraordinaire and former commander of the Apollo 13 mission (Yeah, that's right, Tom Hanks), came by and lectured at BYU this past week. I was unable to attend because of work but a couple close friends went. By all accounts it was an engaging and edifying experience. BYU security was tight and no one could get close enough to Captain Lovell for a handshake, autograph, or fist pump. This included a seven year old who was dressed as an astronaut who wanted an autograph but was prevented by security. TURNING AWAY A SEVEN YEAR OLD DRESSED AS AN ASTRONAUT FROM MEETING HIS HERO IS LIKE TURNING AWAY A SEVEN YEAR OLD DRESSED AS AN ASTRONAUT FROM MEETING HIS HERO. THERE IS NO OTHER WAY TO COMPLETE THAT ANALOGY BECAUSE MY MIND CANNOT COME UP WITH ANYTHING MORE TERRIBLE THAN THAT RIGHT NOW. ARE YOU HAPPY BYU SECURITY!? I NEVER GET CAPS LOCK LEVEL MAD!

Sunday, March 21, 2010

1:32 PM

This is how I picture my grandparents when they were young.

Drunk History

It's simple. You get a writer hammered out of their mind and then have them recount some American history. You then reenact the narrative with famous actors. I feel like I would have gotten more out of history class this way.

This is Drunk History:

Friday, March 19, 2010

For All They Are Not

"See what they made of this mess of frottage. It is as if a fractious child had been handed a few timber shavings and a bucket of mud to keep him quiet only for him to promptly erect a cathedral, complete with baptistry, steeple, weathercock and all. Within the precincts of this consecrated house they afford each other sanctuary, excuse each other their failings, their sweats and smells, their lies and subterfuges, above all their ineradicable self-obsession. This is what baffles us, how they wriggled out of our grasp and somehow became free to forgive each other for all they are not."

Hermes messenger of the gods commenting on what man has done with the gift of love from the novel "The Infinities" by John Bannville.

I'm having a bad hair day life.

I can't deny it anymore. My hairline has receded. I feel like I've had this amazing relationship my whole life that I've taken for granted and now I'm upset because it's leaving. All my aspirations in life; graduate college, get married and have a family, avert the genocide of large blue cat people, always carried with it the assumed footnote of "with my hair". DON'T GO! I CAN CHANGE!