Tuesday, April 27, 2010

8:05 PM

I've never liked seeing women wearing the Playboy Bunny logo. It's like seeing a cow in the pasture wearing a t-shirt with a drooling Ronald McDonald on it.
p.s.- I didn't take this kind of creepy looking picture.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Medi Pants

In the modern age there is seemingly an infinite supply of areas in which we can dedicate our attention. Some of us even believe that we dedicate an even and fair amount of our attention to more than one thing, even though Oprah and psychologists everywhere seem to have proven that it's pretty much impossible to truly multitask.

Have you ever noticed though, how sometimes your mind while dead-set on focusing on one thing will completely shift your attention to something else? Maybe its a minor case of ADD but I find that it happens to me quite a bit. But with ADD being the most over-diagnosed of all psychological disorders these days, I feel safe saying that it probably happens to most of us.

Just recently I realized in one of these moments that I have been quite happily married now for nearly two years...

I realized that if this casual realization of happiness and bliss happens in a fleeting moment of inattentiveness... things must be going extremely well indeed. Nothing seems to be amiss. All my sails are cast... and my Medi Pants and I are sailing farther and farther into the open waters together.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Red Envelopes Of Absolution

I am a Born-Again-Netflixer. I strayed from the path of righteousness. In a moment of weakness I gave into the temptation of Blockbuster (Whore of Babylon). For one payment of $10 I would become a Platinum Club Member. For a year I got a free rental every month, rent one get one free monday through wednesday, and best of all, a gray colored card that distinguished me from the common blue carders. I held myself above my fellow man. I gave into the superficial joy of instant gratification. It felt good but it never felt right. After awhile I couldn't live like that anymore (my membership expired). I turned back towards the light. With the support of my friends and family I signed back up for Netflix. There was no judgment. No awkwardness. Only a window that said "Would you like to join Netflix again?". Netflix put it's arms as long as a million DVD's around this prodigal son. For about $9 a month I get a DVD as fast as the postal system can ship them. And as a reward for the patience I have a queue of 49 movies I can watch instantly, at any time. It feels good to be home.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Life Imitating (Culinary?) Art

In 30 Rock episode, "The Rural Juror", Tracy, strapped for cash, develops and endorses The Meat Machine:

Meat now is the new bead! KFC, the same people who brought you "everything we make mixed together in a bowl", never hesitant to flout the conventional diet norms bring us...

The Double Down sandwich features two boneless chicken filets with bacon, monterey jack, and sauce in between. No baked good accoutrements in sight. In the interest of blog journalism and with no regard to my own health and well-being, I ate one of these fast food novelties. It's the flavor of salty. Lesson of the day? Food that appears as a joke in a sitcom is not as funny in real life.